So last weekend we had to put our dog Maggie down. She was almost 13, almost completely blind, and going deaf. A vet visit gave us some very bad news, and then she just went downhill quickly, and it was obvious that she was in extreme pain.
So I’ve been grieving this week. She was a part of our family and our history. I got her for my daughter to help with her anxiety when her dad and I were going through our divorce.
There were so many memories and life milestones connected with her, and her loss opened up this door of grief for me. Past grief and anticipatory grief. I was feeling grief again for my dad, who passed away about six years ago, and anticipatory grief. My just turned 87, and so that's a loss in the future I will have to face.
Grief as we age is inevitable. There will continue to be loss of family, friends, more pets, and just grief of my body aging. Losing the ability to do things that I was able to do when I was younger.
Like for instance, getting up off of the floor. I have arthritis in my hip, and when I try to get up, someone will inevitably try to offer me a hand, and I’m like, “No, no, no, I have a system!” I have to put this hand down, move it this way, turn my leg, and so on.
But that is the ticket that I to pay for being here. Because on the other side of that grief is joy. Being able to have my daughter in my life and just watch her mature into this amazing human being, and have belly laughs with my best friend, binge-watching Ted Lasso and listening to Noah Kahan on repeat.
I’ve realized that I can feel the grief, be in it and not of it, and on the other side of it is acceptance and gratitude. I will always miss our little Maggie, but I am so grateful that she was a part of our lives.
