Retirement was something I had worked for and looked forward to for most of my life. Right? Oh, I can’t wait to retire, it was that carrot dangling in front of me that kept me working in a job I had burned out on years before. My pension was the only thing motivating me to stay there. And so when I finally retired, I was surprised that it felt like I was having an existential crisis. I realized that this wasn't just the beginning of my next chapter, the phrase so many retirement courses and articles use but that it’s also the beginning of my final chapter. And I don’t bring that up in a depressing way, but more that , that realization woke me up. It made me realize that if there was ever a time to really explore who I am—and how I want to live—it's now. I worked at my last employer for 21 years. And the roles I played there had really become part of my identity, and a way to validate myself. I used it as a way to give me a sense of self-worth and value. So now that I’ve retired, Who am I when I'm not defined by my job? What do I actually value now? What parts of myself have I ignored, outgrown—or never really had the courage to explore? I don't want to spend my retirement simply filling my days with things to do. I want to use this time intentionally and create a life that feels authentically me.
So being a Gemini ( If you know, you know) “I've been doing a lot of research, reading books, blogs, articles about the psychology of retirement, identity, purpose, and other things that have been swirling around in my head as I start this journey. And the more I learn, the more I realize how much there is a need to create a space where we can have honest conversations about what aging and retirement actually feel like -The freedom, the excitement, having more choices and finally having time to explore who we are and what we want, —but also the fear, the uncertainty, changes in our identity and relationships, feeling invisible sometimes, and facing the reality of loss and getting older.
So if you’ve made it this far in this post, I hope that means that maybe you have identified with some of what I’ve had to say or you know of someone who might. If that’s the case, I hope you’ll continue to come back and we can take this journey together.
